Bad Mommy...

Every Mother finds herself doing what she needs to do to get the day rolling and keep it rolling. I would suppose that one of my down falls as a mother was my habit of fibbing or making up little white lies to get the kids to do what I wanted them to do. If I had to serve them something yucky looking for dinner – say – refried beans, then these became “chocolaty beans”. When it was time to give up the binkies I said that Tinker Bell had taken them. I found that getting the kids to believe what I wanted them to believe was a satisfactory way of getting them to conform – so to speak. Fortunately I primarily used this lame tactic to combat temper tantrums or food dislikes and I could only get away with this ridiculous type of reasoning when they were very young.

My Nina was known all through out the land as having the worst temper. There were friends that simply would not baby sit for her. They would ask, “Are you sure you called everyone else before me?” She was small but mighty – and smart! To get Nina to mind and behave was when I came up with these little white lies.

One day while driving in the car Nina was having a particularly wild melt down, the type of melt down that can make you crazy and seriously cause an accident. In order to get her to hush I told her that I would have to press the EJECTOR SEAT BUTTON if she did not stop her fit this minute. The ejector seat button was in fact the hazard light button. I thought what a great idea, it is the shape of a triangle – facing up and away and it certainly looked foreboding and as though it could do the job, if put to the test. It worked!!!!!! She stopped her crying and hollering instantly. I felt that I had come up with a perfect solution and I used that tactic from then on – probably about 4 times in the following two years. So from three years old to about five years old Nina must have held a fearful respect for the ejector seat button. Nina’s brother Bijan was fully aware that I was fibbing to Nina but being the peaceful soul that he was he seemed content to not make waves – all is fair in love and war and the taming of Nina’s temper.

About the time that Nina was five and Bijan was eight we were driving around town busily running errands and all seemed fine until we got a flat tire. I was grateful that I managed to keep control of the car and pull over to the side of the road. Everyone safe – now to deal with the changing of the tire, my first step was to reach for the hazard light button as I wanted to notify other drivers that I was certainly having a hazardous day. Bijan yelled, “No Mother – you can’t press that – STOP!” I looked at Bijan and he was eyeing me to turn around and look at Nina. When I turned to the back seat I saw Nina braced in her booster seat – her eyes were clenched shut tight and her face was scrunched small. Her body was stiff and she was waiting to be ejected right through the top of the family mini van, off high into the sky and perhaps coming down in some distant field of little white and yellow daisies.
Oh my god, my little white lies had caught up with me in the most horrific way imaginable. How could this child ever trust a single word I would say to her again? The flat tire was the least of my problems. I stopped telling white lies of any kind after that but Nina’s temper seemed to get the best of us for another five years. I am happy to report that she is now the sweetest young woman that you will ever meet and we have to search our memories for times like this to even imagine how she was.

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY...

Major Vacation Plans!

We finally did it. We booked our flights to Scotland this weekend! This is a big accomplishment for Matt and me. We are not as spontaneous as I would like us to be. We have been thinking about this trip back and forth. Should we go or should we go next year? There have been lots of things up for us this year and it did not seem like the time to go. However, when I got the news that my sister was thinking of moving home from Scotland, I thought it is now or never. So – off we go. Well, off we go in August.

Scotland is wonderful. I love Edinburgh, which I will certainly visit again. We plan to take some day trips out from Glasgow but we are hoping to go to another spot for a few days – perhaps Amsterdam or London. I was hoping to do Paris but for the amount of time that we are there it is a little tricky with the flight times I have been finding and my hotel points program.

This will be so much fun – the kids are a blast to travel with and we did not go with Matt to Scotland last time so we are very happy that he is going with us this time. Matt and I have not traveled that much – we are work-aholics I think. So I will keep you posted on where we end up deciding to go.

Happy Easter!

I hope everyone has a joyful Easter. Nina and I shall color eggs tonight as we always do. This year I even found sugar free peeps! Now you have to admit that sugar free peeps are a silly idea becuase peeps are all sugar. Oh well, enjoy...

I Was Shocked Yesterday, Sad Today...

Just imagine my shock after calling a friend – this is someone I have worked with off and on for some six years now, only to be told that she had passed away! Not only that – but that she had passed away six months ago!!

I first met Evelyn over the phone when I took a position as an administrative assistant to a VIP. (This job was very much like Devil Wears Prada – but with a man instead of Meryl Streep and he was nicer). He had a massive travel schedule, literally all over the world every week. I had never coordinated such a schedule before – I was in way over my head. I found her name in the rolodex on the desk under Travel so I gave her a call. What I found on the other end of the line was the most caring woman who threw her whole heart into helping me please this boss of mine who was expected to be every where all the time. There was not a day that we did not talk for 3 ½ years straight. We developed a really warm friendship over the phone – not so unusual in our high tech world.

When I left that job I worked for two other companies and continued to call on Evelyn consistently throughout the months into years for all of my travel needs even though making arrangements on the internet is very simple. She was just so much personality and service that if you got stuck somewhere you just knew you were never alone. I think that was her special talent – making you feel as though you had someone who had your back all the time.

When I left the corporate world to open my shop – she called sometimes to check up on me and we would always get to talking about one thing or another. I think we both missed those old hey days of frantic itineraries, last minute flights to the other side of the world and forgetting where we sent my boss or when he was due back! Every time we talked it was like we had talked yesterday and we always felt we would talk again tomorrow.

I called her office yesterday to make some travel plans and I knew something was up when I asked if she was in and I was put on hold for a while. Her associate picked up the phone and told me. I was crushed and doubly so when I learned it happened in September. Of course no one would know to call me. It was not unusual for us to go six months with out talking. After all these years I was no longer one of her main clients. The last time we talked was about eight months ago. I guess it is strange – when someone dies there are all sorts of people that do not know. You can not inform everyone. I really loved this little gal. She was a great person and she helped me more than most people would know. She made me look like a success at dealing with the most stressful part of my job in those days. I feel so sad and I keep thinking I wish I had known. I will miss her.

Has Anyone Seen A Really Fat Toddler?

Because that seems to be what I lost. I mean I have lost 50 lbs and about 31 inches to date. If you think about it, that is about the size of a short round little kid. I prefer to think that it is some loud child screaming in Wal-Mart. Or perhaps some whinny little one that is crabby all the time. However I imagine it – it is gone. It didn’t go easily but it could return easily if I am not vigilant. I have not reached my goal yet but I am so close. I would like to lose about another 10 to 15 pounds but heck that might take another year and I promised a before and after shot. I was going to put one up sooner but I could not get the last bit of weight off. I have been on a plateau for a few months now and I stay within the same 3 lbs no mater what I eat or do so I will just hang in there and keep building muscle.

This is my before picture – that is me in the white blouse. This was taken almost exactly one year ago. I had a lot of fun with my pal Sylvia that day. We do like our margaritas! But I was uncomfortable and I remember that I was worried about my health.

This is me after a year of working out and eating Jenny Craig food. I have to say that I do have the best counselor at JC that anyone could ever wish for. Judy has nurtured me along in such a supportive way. She is very helpful, professional and just a down right wonderful person. She is an important friend to me. And although some think it is an expensive program – it is cheaper than a heart attack and the aftermath of all of that so I am grateful.

I am happy to be healthy and I am surprised that I actually like working out – I even crave it sometimes. I feel very exposed and self-conscious about posting these pictures but I felt it was important for the little journey that I have been on this year. I embarked on a pathway of self discovery and renewal and this task is part of that.

Next post will feature some of the fun new goodies that we got in at Soul of the Rose – or maybe I’ll just write something silly instead.